Undeserving
by Tuesday The First
Summary: Oneshot. Off 'Special Education'. Rachel needs to have a little talk with Santana.


_AN: Off 'Special Education'. Rachel needs to have a little talk with Santana. _  
_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee._  
_Review it, favourite it, but most of all, enjoy it._

**Undeserving**

Santana flopped her grilled cheese sandwich onto a plate. Hopping onto the counter, she cradled her phone between her shoulder and head using her free hands to hold the plate and half the sandwich. As she chewed, she hoped Brittany on the other end of the phone couldn't hear the smile in her voice.

"You were amazing tonight," Said Brittany for the fifth time. Each time she did, Santana felt her stomach do tiny flips.

She stuffed more sandwich into her mouth to muffle her excitement. "You were better," She offered sipping her orange soda. "You're an amazing dancer. You didn't have a reason to be nervous."

She heard Brittany's smile that made her grin herself. "You're an amazing singer." The biggest swarm of butterflies yet swarmed her stomach. "Why were you nervous?"

"You know how the Glee club idolizes Berry and Mercedes is just as good." She explained remembering the day she and the two other girls crowded into the choir room to discuss the solo arrangement. "Rachel was too upset over her idiot boyfriend and Weezy," She paused, eating the last of her sandwich. She switched her phone to the other ear. "She likes her Breadstix almost as much as me."

Brittany gasped over the line. "You're sneaky, San,"

"I know, but I get what I want, don't I?" She heard Brittany agree followed by the voice of her little sister who was begging her sibling to play _Dance Revolution _with her. "Should I let you go?"

"You don't have to,"

"But Ashley's…"

"I want to talk to you,"

Santana's body filled with warmth at the sincerity and the plea in Brittany's voice. She drew her legs up to cross them on the counter to hold her melting self together. It had been so long since she had talked to Brittany for any length of time.

"Okay," She said softly when there was a hard knock on her back door.

"Is it, Q?" Asked Brittany immediately.

"I don't know," She answered honestly though she had a feeling it might be the third addition to their trio. Quinn had been stopping by every once in a while, usually late in the night, a crying ball of conflicted feelings and confusion.

Leaping from the counter, Santana made way to the backdoor. She peeked out the curtain that draped over the plain of glass, eyes widening a fraction when she realized who it was. She groaned.

"Who is it?"

"It's Rachel," The girls were silent letting another knock, louder this time, ring throughout the house. Santana sighed as she held the phone in a hand, her mind telling her to send Rachel away and to finish talking to Brittany but she felt she needed to hear whatever the gold star had to say. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," Brittany agreed but didn't set a time she would call her like she usually did.

Santana frowned but straightened out her voice to keep Brittany from hearing it. "Bye Britt,"

"Bye San," She chimed. Santana heard her best friend beckoning to her sister before she clicked the end button.

Stuffing her phone in her sweatpants pocket, Santana flung her backdoor open right when Rachel was about to knock on it again. She crossed her arms over her chest, one eyebrow raised and lips pursed as she took in the shorter girl. "Persistent much?"

Rachel glowered at her. "I saw lights on and your car in the front so I knew you were home. I wasn't going to let you ignore me because I really need to talk to you." She really disliked the fact the Berry's lived behind them.

Santana looked her over catching the underlining stream of hurt and brokenness that waved beneath Rachel's shield of anger. Her heart broke for her and she dropped her arms and her eyebrow. "Come in," She stepped back, presenting her home to her.

Rachel looked from the inside to Santana for reassurance. Santana gave her a short nod and that was all she needed. Rachel stepped inside to the kitchen where she stood awkwardly by the stove. Santana passed her going to the fridge. "Thirsty?"

"Water's fine,"

Santana took out a bottle of water and another orange soda for herself. She motioned for Rachel to follow her to the dining room table where they sat cattycorner to one another. Santana watched the diva closely, patiently waiting for her to snap and lay it all on her but she had gotten shy once she stepped inside of the Lopez's house. She would have to push the conversation.

"Finn broke up with you."

"Yes, he did," Rachel said tightly, opening her bottle of water. She didn't drink it but instead played with the top between her fingers. As she sat there silently, her face slowly began to mold out of its tension and into a painful grimace. Santana blinked away unable to handle it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked in a small voice.

"It wasn't my place to tell."

"But you wanted to," Rachel laid her intense gaze on her. "I know you wanted to ever since the wedding. You've been rude to me, not that you haven't always been, but more so and I didn't understand. What happened at the wedding between you and Finn that made you feel like I needed to know now?"

"You needed to know the second you got together with that idiot." Her voice had risen but she didn't care to bring it down. Rachel was swimming into very sensitive waters with her and she wasn't sure she wanted to reveal that much of her to the girl yet. "He should've been man enough to tell you. It wasn't my place. We did it, I do it with everyone, so it meant nothing to me and you two weren't together at the time. Not my fault he kept it from you."

"No, it's not your fault he kept it from me." Rachel said quickly, "I didn't expect you two, and I guess I didn't expect anyone else in Glee, to tell me since no one seems to care about how I feel or how much I get hurt."

"You said it, not me,"

"Santana," Rachel said angrily.

"Berry," She mocked sitting back in her chair.

Rachel dropped her eyes and got up. "I should go," She took a few steps towards the door when Santana caught her wrist pulling her back. "Santana, let go,"

"Sit down," She demanded with a bit of force behind her words. It almost matched the commanding tone Quinn would take when she wanted someone to do what she wanted. Rachel shook her head trying to pull away but Santana's grip got tighter. She tugged her lightly. "Sit down, please," She said softer and got the desired results.

"What?" Asked Rachel, hand wiping away a stray tear.

"I was sick of it, okay?" Santana started. She saw Rachel's confused expression and groaned. She fiddled with her soda can to occupy herself away from Rachel's probing eyes. "I was sick of seeing you two, all happy and shit."

"But why me and Finn? Why not Quinn and Sam or Tina and Mike or Artie and Brittany? Out of all of them you should be going after Brittany and Artie."

"I tried!" Santana hissed. Out the corner of her eye, she saw Rachel lean away from her. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "I screwed up with that, alright? Tina and Mike have some kind of asian fusion going and Quinn…Quinn deserves Sam. But Finn doesn't deserve you just like I don't deserve Brittany. But there you two are."

"So you try and pry us apart so the two undeserving people can do as they please to one another."

"I said that but only because," Her hands clenched tight around the can. She felt the aluminum give under the pressure. She needed to just say it. She needed to tear some of her walls down even if it was to Rachel. She hadn't been anything but civil to Quinn when she had been pregnant, so why should Santana be afraid to show some of herself.

She rolled her eyes as she looked back at Rachel, her voice dropping. "You were right. I am lonely. You and Finn were the easiest to attack and Finn is stupid enough to be swayed anyway a pretty girl wants him to when he's all pissed and running on his hormones."

"I understand," Rachel said serenely catching Santana off guard. She looked away, abandoning the water bottle top on the table. "I hate you for what you did but I guess it makes sense. I shouldn't be so upset since you're right. Finn would run off with someone pretty like you."

"Oh, Berry, shut up," Rachel snapped her attention back to Santana, her mouth slightly agape in surprise. "You are pretty, you're beautiful, and if Finn can't see that then maybe he isn't as right for you as you think he is."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I'm a lot of things but I'm not a liar." A small smile crept onto Rachel's lips that filled Santana with relief. "He doesn't deserve you, but if that's who you want then go ahead. And get over your complex. Finn and I might've had sex but it meant nothing to him. Being hot doesn't make sex better or make someone want you more."

The smile on Rachel's lips faltered for a moment but came back bigger than the first. Santana gave an inward sigh. She hated the fact she was the one that had to set things straight but she though it was better than nothing. Finn would've probably made it worse and Santana could not handle a moping and more overpowering Rachel Berry.

A warm hand covered hers causing Santana to look up at Rachel curiously. Rachel smiled at her, glancing down at their hands unsure of her actions but took Santana's unmoving that it was fine to be touching her. "Thank you, Santana,"

"Yeah, whatever," She said dismissively still looking at their hands. "All I did was tell the truth."

"You'd be surprised as to how many people don't tell the truth."

"Most of them are in Glee anyway," She offered a kind smile. They sat quietly for a few more minutes. Santana wouldn't run the girl off if she had more to say, so she let her sit, her hand still covering hers until the old grandfather clock in the hallway chimed at the top of the hour.

Rachel drew back her hand and screwed the top back on her bottle of water. "I guess I should go."

"Whatever you want," Santana shrugged not noticing she had pretty much said that Rachel's welcome could be extended past the reason for needing to talk.

Rachel caught it and blushed slightly as she took up her water and made way for the backdoor. Hand on the knob, she turned back to look at Santana who leaned against the wall to see her out.

She swallowed hard, eyes meeting Santana's. "Finn might not deserve me and Brittany might not deserve you but that doesn't matter when we want them and they want us in return. If you think about it, do any of us deserve another person when we treat them the way we do?"

"I guess not," Santana shrugged. She would dwell on that fortune cookie tidbit later on.

Santana didn't have time to react when she suddenly felt Rachel's arms circle her neck in a hug then let go, returning to the door almost like she hadn't moved at all.

"I'll see you in Glee," Rachel bid to the shocked girl.

Santana shook her head, brow furrowing as she went to close the door behind Rachel who was already bounding through her backyard to the alley. "Bye Rachel," She said into the night.

The door shut with a click in time with the gate.

_el fin._


End file.
